It’s an exciting time in the realm of sports right now. A real hot take, right? And for those of you who couldn't care less about the state of the Rangers’ bullpen, just indulge me for a sec. Right now, the sporting zeitgeist has reached that fever pitch time of year. The NBA and NHL playoffs are in full swing, the baseball schedule is around that 30-game mark so we’re about 1/20th of the way through that juggernaut.
Anyways, the point here is that, in this point of time where we spend literally hours on end watching the greatest athletes in the world do whatever it is they respectively do, it's easy to feel a little inadequate as a human, ya know? I mean, like, one minute Russell Westbrook is taking a total of four steps to cross a regulation basketball court in about 3.5 seconds, and the next I'm about to pass out in the laundry room because I stood up from unloading the dryer too quick. I mean, sure, it could be because the last time I ate a vegetable Miley Cyrus looked like a person I went to high school with instead of a Mad Max villain, but the point is that I am, without argument, a weaker part of the species than these guys are. Face it guys, Thomas Jefferson lied to us. All men were not created equal.
It can really start to wear on a person, just being constantly reminded that someone is just so much better at being a literal human than you are. But, in being a human, I do have that competitive spirit. I mean, I played competitive sports in high school (check that. I played sports. I'm pretty sure they stop being competitive after the other team has to carry you off the field due to dehydration.) So I know the longing that resides in each of us to prove yourself against your fellow man/woman. Where are we to turn to, then, to indulge these Neanderthal-esque urges of competition? For those of you who guessed Rocket League or Settlers of Catan, one: nice try and two: no, because those are only answers to the question of what can I play that will make me mad enough to go Keyzer Söze on every single person in the room. If we can't prevail in competitions of physical, virtual, or cardboard cutout and wooden slivered in nature, then where are we supposed to look to satisfy those urges?
Ok, check that, that was horribly worded. Don't look to anything you just thought of for inspiration. What I meant was you must instead look inwards and let your mind be your winning force, your ace-in-the-hole, your ringer in the game, your golden gun. I'm talking about trivia, guys. Just good, old-fashioned “I’m smarter than you are” trivia. Now, this may shock you to know, but I was not the first person to think of this simple fact, this random outlier in the realm of competitive sports. Our good friends over at the Mulberry Street Cantina have also stumbled across this little gem in the rocks and, instead of lording their brilliance over every other buffoon who wasn't smart enough to do it first, they've made something thoroughly entertaining out of it. A fun, cozy, popular-with-the-locals bar can take the basic concept of game night that every kid in America has participated in, throw in some catchy themed drinks, a few alcohol-related prizes, and make an awesome night out of it. Let’s, for example, take last Wednesday night. I believe it was the 4th of May, if my memory serves. Well, as a surprise to no one, it was a Star Wars-themed trivia night. And, surprising even fewer people than a Lando Calrissian-led Death Star attack, the players came in droves. Now, as fun as it was and as fun as it sounds, I do have a word of warning for all you would-be trivia champs out there: these people are not messing around. I mean, you'd think you would be doing alright if you know every line of Boba Fett’s dialogue by heart, but the points did not lie. Did you know there is a major geological similarity between Yavin 4 and the forest moon of Endor, other than the fact they both have a bunch of big trees? Somebody did, you guys. A shocking number of people, to be honest. I mean, I've watched the movies, I’ve read the books, I killed a grasshopper once with my purple plastic lightsaber and thought I was destined for greatness (as you can imagine, I also had a phenomenal social life back in sixth grade.). But it was all for nothing. Nothing! I don't know how many Bothans had to die to bring these teams the information, but somewhere along the line I was out of my league so fast you couldn't hear my Wilhelm scream as I flew out the door.
Regardless, the night was still a huge success. As only a room full of nerds can be on Star Wars Day, we were all pretty chilled and laid back. Maybe they put some muscle relaxers in the tacos (served up by the El Rudo food truck outside), or the vibe in the Cantina was just too nice to mess with. Trivia Night will return to its regularly-scheduled Thursday night starting this week, though, so go and see for yourself. But, just as a heads up, if you thought the Star Wars crowds could go hard, don't you sleep on the How I Met Your Mother hurricane that is headed your way. Start your binge watch now, cause three slap bets says my team is better than yours. May the 19th be with you!